Posts tagged with "Family"

Taking names and remembering history: Poor little Mormons and the big gay menace

By Ari | Nov 15, 08 09:20 AM

The TIME article What Happens If You're on the Gay "Enemies List" reports that some queer folks have responded to people of color and Mormons who voted down marriage equality in California with some bigotry of their own. I don't know how wide-spread or real these acts of racism and religious intolerance are. I wish we queer folk could all commit to taking the higher ground and using only peaceful, respectful means to get equal rights. But it's not a perfect world, our country obviously has issues around identity politics, and some queer people are bigots, too. I'm not excusing these folks' behavior whatsoever, just pointing out that they're the exception, not the rule, when it comes to activism for queer equality.

This article also calls out queer folks for organizing efforts like Anti-Gay Blacklist, wherein the details of individual donors to the Yes on 8 campaign are posted on the internet so those who support marriage equality can boycott them and send mail to the companies they work for. Let's think about a few other times in which such lists of people have been used, which might point to whether this practice is acceptable. Right Wing Christians have posted lists of their own, which have made it easier for, say, Right Wing anti-choice activists to hunt down and murder doctors who give women abortions. The McCarthy-era blacklists destroyed people's lives. Some militant animal rights groups have used lists to target those who imprison and torture animals in labs for sidewalk demonstrations and harassment in front of these people's homes. None of these seem like good ideas to me. None of these strategies are respectful of people's space, privacy, and families. Some of these strategies are outright violent. Are the lists in California any better? Well, yes. They don't include home addresses and phone numbers, so far as I've seen. It seems their primary purpose is to facilitate boycotts, and to help people know where they can send letters. This is public accountability. This is putting faces on the oppressors. This isn't a call for violence, and this will not destroy people's lives. It might, however, mean they get less business and more mail from people they're oppressing. If that's uncomfortable for them that's too bad - they, after all, pulled together millions of dollars to oppress queer families, which I think is a little more egregious than encouraging letter-writing and economic boycotts. If they really had courage in their convictions, they'd welcome these lists put on the internet by gay people - after all, if they're on the moral high ground, why do they want to hide their faces?

Another article in the New York Times quotes Alan C. Ashton, the grandson of a former president of the Mormon Church, who donated one million dollars in support of the oppression of families like mine. He calls our protests (including, presumably, the vast majority of our protests, which are peaceful and not marred by bigotry) "off-putting." He says, “I think that shows colors... by their fruit, ye shall know them.” Mormons and other religious groups have been showing their colors for generations. What is the fruit of homophobia? Queer teens are committing suicide. Transgender people are being raped and murdered. People born intersexed are being surgically altered and given drugs that change who they are without consent, in their infancy and childhood. Queer folks are shouted at and hurt in the streets. So many queer people are so crippled by internalized homophobia, or so wounded by the homophobia of their families and communities, that they can never self-actualize and be honest about who they are. Ashton and his millionaire friends might try to paint themselves as the victims now that we queer folks are finally lifting ourselves out of the ashes of history, but I'm guessing they're more afraid of us gaining full personhood than they are of our "enemies lists" and boycotts.

Keith Oberman's Book of Love

By Shira | Nov 11, 08 04:51 PM

Keith asks us to spread happiness and protect the ember of love by defending the gay right to marriage...

Same-sex marriage and caged chickens: Human freedom, animal rights

By Ari | Nov 11, 08 04:30 PM

I just read a piece on the Huffington Post, Shaun Jacob Halper's Why Some Americans Don't Have Reason to Celebrate, and found it interesting from an animal rights perspective. It reads in part:

This past Election Tuesday, Californians turned out in droves to recognize the rights of caged-chickens while denying the rights of gays and lesbians to marry. Passing Prop 2 and Prop 8, Californians secured a chicken's right to "extend its wings, lie down, stand up, and turn around" in confinement, while revoking basic democratic rights from gays; rights like equal protection under the law, the ability to pursue happiness, and the freedom to worship religion without state interference (that's right, there are Judeo-Christian confessions that view same-sex marriage as sacred). In short, Californians sympathize with chickens but not with gays.

Isn't he minimizing the plight of chickens, and saying one oppression is worse (more worthy of concern) than another? I agree it's tragically sad that so many Californian voters have made such an unjust and oppressive choice. But why compare it to their vote to treat innocent chickens with just a little more compassion, as if that decision is somehow silly or less important?

I too am queer, and I too want my partnership, my family, to be legally recognized and not discriminated against. But though I'm oppressed as a queer woman, I've got all kinds of privilege that make my life about a million times better and more free than that of almost any animal of almost any other species. The way that we treat domesticated animals like chickens is absolutely unconscionable - we literally bring them into the world in huge numbers, expressly to suffer and die for our benefit. That voters have made a tiny step toward treating living, feeling animals with just a little more kindness is a beautiful thing. I don't begrudge my feathered sisters their political win. Maybe the folks who care so much about chickens will one day open their hearts a little wider and extend some kindness to queer folks as well. Denigrating their love of animals will not help them to open their hearts.

Maybe Halper is on his way to this realization already, though he's yet to see the connection between the oppression of non-human animals and the oppression of human animals. He writes,

It is the gay community who has failed to build coalitions with other groups. Wake-up call to gay leadership: We must form institutional alliances with other minority communities and start supporting each others interests. We are not going to see these groups support our right to marry if we do not make an active effort to support them as well.

We need to start seeing allies everywhere, and treating everyone as our brothers and sisters in a universal struggle for peace and justice. Maybe some of those we treat with respect and love don't have the power or capability to give us anything in return - but it's not about reciprocity, it's about doing the right thing by our neighbors. A win for the chickens is a win for us all.

America's First Dog

By Shira | Nov 10, 08 12:47 PM

I think it's really great that the Obamas are considering adopting a shelter dog. However, it seems unjust to me that Malia's allergies might sway the family to go for a "pure" breed. Since when does one person's allergy justify another's oppression? Perhaps it's time to consider adopting a different species altogether. The question is are Americans ready for a ferret in the White House?

Obama bringing out the love

By Ari | Nov 3, 08 10:40 PM

From Tears for Obama, a very touching slideshow of photos on Huffington Post, showing people crying at Obama rallies.

See also: O-Bama Faces, The Obamas' Greatest PDA Moments, Campaign Trail PDA: The Obama/Biden Edition, The Obamas' Greatest Family Moments, and the rest of the slideshows. They're all pretty heart-warmingly fantastic.

Lynn Love Thinks: Ari's mom's new blog!

By Ari | Oct 21, 08 09:52 AM

lynn was enamored with this crocheted garfield
Originally uploaded by Shira Golding

My mom, Lynn, is a pretty cool lady - she's traveled the country selling her own handcrafted jewelry and watercolor paintings, lived on a commune, built and lived in a rural homestead, lived it large in Miami and Provincetown, had three children (one of whom, my late older brother, was lost to heroin addiction and alcoholism), and most recently, has gone independent and begun making a living selling vintage clothing on eBay and in her own fledgling shop, Vintage Lucy.

She's an awesome mom because she always treated us kids as her equals, allowing us room to grow into our own people. I've always thought of her as one of my best friends; she's someone I can learn from and who is willing to learn in turn. Now I'm happy to call her a fellow blogger! She's just begun her own blog, Lynn Love Thinks, where she's writing about the books she reads, progressive politics and social change, art and craft and collecting, and spirituality.

Fun fact: The name of the blog uses her middle name rather than her last name. "Love" was her mother's middle name, and Mary gave it to Lynn, and Lynn gave it to me. It's not a hippie thing (though my mom was a hippie!), but an old Swedish thing, I guess.

Check it out and comment on a post to give her some encouragement - she's new to blogging and I want to keep her at it!
Lynn Love Thinks

Cool vegan travellers

By Ari | Oct 15, 08 02:04 PM

Milo Likes the Bus
Originally uploaded by fourvegans

We've met some awesome people through our vegan ecovillage project, including Sugati and Chris, who are about to travel the U.S. in a bus converted run on waste veggie oil. It's got solar power, and they're going to run workshops on mobile sustainability as they go. These are their kids hanging out with a friend, whose parents are hosting the bus while it's parked, pre-journey.

You can follow their odyssey on their blog, and here's a link to their Flickr photoset about the bus.

Nebraska and safe haven - for all or just for some?

By Ari | Sep 28, 08 12:00 PM

Has anyone else out there been following this safe haven thing in Nebraska? They created a safe haven law that allows kids up to age 18 to be dropped off at hospitals and such, with no penalty to the parent. Then a ton of kids all got dropped off, and the media and politicians said "Whoa, too many kids are being abandoned! Better limit the safe haven law to only allow kids up to 5 year old or something."

So I read these stories, and was shocked that this was the response. I mean, if so many kids are being dropped off who weren't before, isn't that, dare I say, a good thing? Ostensibly the parents really don't want them or can't handle taking care of them. Why on earth would it be preferable to keep them in their homes if this is the reality of the situation? Why should it ever be considered wrong or illegal - or an offense worthy of punishment - to put your kids in a safer, healthier situation? If we don't allow folks to safely turn over their kids to others who can care for them (and here I know I'm glossing over the painful problems with the foster care and adoption industries), then won't we end up with more horror stories of kids locked up in closets for years, or killed, or abandoned on roadsides?

Anyway, today I finally came across a story that I think helps put the whole thing in context and which is very sympathetic to these parents and their horrible situation - and to the kids who could really benefit if we extended this broad safe haven law to the whole country: Nebraska Must Not Change Child Safe Haven Law by Vigilant Watch. When I saw this I breathed a sigh of relief that I'm not the only one who thinks this safe haven law is not "backwards" but a very, very good idea. Now if only we could extend it to all kids everywhere. They say it takes a village to raise a child, right? Let's act like it and take responsibility for the kids who need help - and work to erase the problems that lead to families falling into this situation in the first place.

Shirari Industries